Sometimes I feel as though I'm diagonally parked in a parallel world!

Sometimes I feel as though I'm diagonally parked in a parallel world!....and I'm not saying that is a bad thing. I'm just saying that you know, sometimes the things that I take as a given usually are not what I think.

One of my favourite movies is "Labyrinth". The movie's byline is "Where everything seems possible and nothing is what it seems", which is essentially my life right now. I have the entire world at my feet and it seems like I can do anything, but really is it what it seems? Can I actually do anything? Since highschool I have been told that you go to University and you graduate in 4 years and you have a degree and you get a job and you have a life. When I was in high school that was fine and so obvious to me, but now that I'm actually living that life it is scaring the shit out of me! I am not going to graduate in 4 years, I don't know what type of job I want, and I don't know what type of life I should have. So, basically by the standards set forth by high school, I am failing....miserably! So many of my friends are actually graduating in 4 years!!! Where did I go wrong?

I have two jobs that I hate, live farfar away from my family, and have been kinda down lately. I think its because its actually coming into my head that this is it. After trying so hard to find the right kind of life and be the right kind of person this is what I ended up with: I'm not doing so hot at the "University Plan" and I'm scared shitless to make anytype of real change in my life and I really miss my friends from home. You know, the friends that know you so well that if I was to do one of my trademark dumb moves, they would probably understand my motivation. The friends that have known me for so long that I don't really think of them as seperate people in my life, but more so of aspects of myself and of each other. Each so different, but SO essential to me being me. Friends that have always just been there, not demanding, not pushing, no need to act any different because they remember that time when...

So, yeah...that is my angry and bitter rant. Angry and bitter at the way things are shaping up in my life and at the fact that I'm feeling outside of my own happy E.C. life. Don't take this as the be all, end all or course, because as you know, if you know me AT ALL....this is how I feel right now. I guarantee that soon I will have a totally different opinion and feel very lucky to not be trapped by the so-called plan set forth by the evil high school dictators who brainwashed our every step to create anotehr generation of 'yes-men'. This is what I mean by being diagionally parked in a parallel world...its not necessarily a bad thing.....as a matter of fact...maybe its good that I'm taking my time alone and at school to really figure shit out............. ;)