I think we all have a point in our young lives that we decide that we are going to suck it up and grow up. Of course this point does not necessarily come easily or at one time, but there is that point that we realize that we're of the age to start taking care of our shit. This is a point that I have fought back and forth with for awhile. While I know I should start acting like an adult, I can't help but feel as though I don't want to. I love being on my own and have the freedom to make my own decision, but I don't know how I feel about making decisions of my own. It seems as though being an adult would constitute making your own decisions and sticking with them, and lets be honest...that has never been my strong point. To be completly honest, I can't make a huge decision without talking to my mom about it, and even after I talk to her, if my dad makes any kind of objection, I immediatly take his thoughts into consideration as well. I don't act like an adult; I feel like a 3 year old screaming that she's no longer a baby. How do you get over this?
My main issue is I REALLY do not want to go to Alberta and work on a newspaper there. In essence, its everything I want; I want to write, I want a job, I want to be around family. But, in actuality, it is everythign that I don't want. I am so happy here right now, why would I want to leave it? I'm sick of moving around and expecting my life to start once I do. This makes no sense, no matter how great it would be to have a writing job, I think it would be retarded to make myself unhappy just to obtain what I THINK may be a goal. The thing that is really killing me about this is I really dont' want to disappoint my cousin. She always says that I go out and get what I want, and I don't want her to change that opinion of me. I want her to still respect me, but I'm scared that if she sees this as throwing away an opportunity she's going to look down on my decision. I guess its a good thing that I have someone who I care so much about what they thing, but really this is driving me crazy.
About Me
- MellaLynne
- Make me laugh and I'll be your friend, Laugh at my jokes and I'll be your friend for life. I value humor...I think honesty is great...and I'm probably a little better than you...:D
1 comment:
Hey dude. Man do I empathize with you although in somewhat of an opposite way. I know that there are a lot of good things that I could stay in Vancouver for during the summer but I just want to leave. If you want my layperson opinion I think you should focus on building on something that you love rather than feeling you should go somewhere out of obligation or because you might get a new start. It's a lot easier to build with a foundation than to go back to the bulldozers. Look at me and my construction analogies! Of course this may all just revert back to my own selfishness for not wanting you to go to Alberta!
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