While reading "Sunshine Sketches of a Little Town", by Stephen Leacock, today I realized that I think the portrayal of love in novels and movies is very unsatisfying. Peter Pupkin describes his first look of Zena Pepperleigh as "such a singing of bird, and such a dancing of the rippled waters of the lake, and such a kindliness in the faces of all the people" (p. 101). Last night watching 'Original Sin', Luis tells Bonny that she has no past before him...She was born the day the stepped of the boat and married him. While these are very romantic sentiments, I think they are bullshit. Our whole society is so obsessed with finding love and creating lust that you can't go anywhere without seeing it. You can drive down the street and see billboards devoted to selling rum or cologne based on lust. I can by no mean claim that I am unaffected by these ads, nor can I say that I am a non-participant in the search for love, rather it seems as though I am constantly looking for love or lust or something in between. My fact is that, the whole idea of love-lust or lust-love is nuts. As we all know, I was once in fall down, do anything, believe anything love...and I have really no recollection of it. I remember lust, anger, melancholy, contentment, disappointment and bright happy feelings; but no real semblance of the love showed in movies and books. This is why I have depicted my ideal love. This was actually really fun to do, and I recommend it to everyone...Figure out what you want, not what you're told you want.

My ideal [in the first person ;)]
I'm shallow, so you have to be hot. You have to laugh, have to attempt to break down my walls, you have to think I'm great (you don't have to tell me, but I have to know). You need to understand that I'm shy and self-conscious and independent. You can't attempt to clip my wings. You can't put demands on me, You can know that I'll do anything for you, but you can't act like it's true. You'll invite me, but you won't be annoyed if I decline. You won't push my shyness. You won't force displays of affection, but you'll know I feel it. You'll love staying in with me. You'll appreciate it when I make the effort to look hot. You'll know when to cut me off at the bar, but you won't try a second before. You'll LOVE my axl impression, you'll love my geeky side. You'll watch shitty TV with me, without making annoying comments. You will mock people with me, because I can't be the bitchy one in the relationship and you'll know enough not to talk politics with me.

In return, I will watch hockey with you and provide commentary about players, coaches, goalies and why Toronto is better. I will push you to have boy night because I'll need some space too. I will always shave my legs and buy very pretty underpants. I will always give head, and I will enjoy it. I'll make dinner and I'll make cookies. I'll proofread all your papers. I will always call you on being a dick. I'll tease you and flirt with you. I'll be cute and funny and always make your friends laugh. I will not drink beer but I'll go with you to a dive bar. I will know that you are funny and smart and hot and great in bed and I'll tell all my friends all about it. I'll watch action movies with you because I actually like them too. I will never expect you to make embarrassing declarations of love because I would be totally mortified. You can take me home to meet your parents, but not too soon cause I'll freak out.

I'll probably be drunk the first time we have sex because I get nervous. Because I'm drunk I'll probably think you were bad, but it's ok because i'll be great and you'll have another chance soon. You will probably be surprised by the extent of my dirty talk, but it will be a good surprise. You'll be surprised because we'll have sex fairly soon, but you'll know it's cause that's how I am: straight-forward and I hate awkwardness. You will probably be jealous when I flirt with your friends, but you get that I'm just a flirty girl and I'll never do anything to hurt you. You'll also get that I don't sleep with just anyone, so you're very lucky.

When we fight, I'll always call back first. I'll never use tears as a weapon; you'll know sometimes I just need the hug. I will freak out and argue about all the dumb stuff but I'll always be sweet and sorry after. You'll probably get angry because I have walls and you'll probably think it's not worth it and we'll probably fight because I can really hold myself back, but then you'll start to realize that it's because I was really hurt before and get scared easily and when I hold myself back it's because I'm terrified. When this happens you won't leave. You'll come over and we'll sit and do nothing, but you'll be there.

I will continually shock you; you will love all these surprises. The fact that I constantly laugh at myself will be what you will love first. After that it will be the surprises; I will be anything but boring. I won't know you love me because I'm too scared of it, and I won't know I love you until we have a huge fight about how I hold myself back. I'll convince myself that there is something wrong with you and I'll talk about it with my friends, and then You're going to have to work hard to change my mind.

Obviously, this is just MY ideal...Naturally there is a lot of fighting because I am a very argumentative person. But hey....This is just me ;)